No s*x please, this is an A380

[LightSpeed]

Ok, so I made the headline up. But the real one is pretty close:

Sex ban on the Airbus A380

"The A380 may have the world’s first airborne double bed, but it won’t be put to the obvious use if Singapore Airlines has its way: “If couples used our double beds to engage in inappropriate activity, we would politely ask them to desist,” said the company’s Stephen Forshaw. “There are things that are acceptable on an aircraft and things that aren’t, and the rules for behaviour in our double beds are the same ones that apply throughout the aircraft.”"

Full story here.

Anyone care to rebrand the airline name to Virgin?

[The High Flyer]

Well, s*x is forbidden, but I can imagine some adventurous couples engaging in things far less distracting to other passengers. They would be able to do them without making a nuisance of themselves.

Still, it'll be interesting to see how the airline enforces the "no s*x" policy!

[LightSpeed]

Maybe the suites have a "Privacy please" button you can push a la hotels? Paging StarG for confirmation...

As for the enforcement, I can only hazard a guess at the revisions to the crew manuals...

Step 1: [Identification]
The following scenarios might be caused by passengers engaging in Activities beyond First (base):
a. If the front of the A380 is subject to vigorous shudders with no apparent aircraft turbulence

b. Throaty voices emanating from a Suite (not unlike Wendy from the "Sounds of the new age" channel), though coupled with (a) above

c. Requests for entire bottles of Dom or Krug champagne, with frequent refills and traces of leakage from the Suite


Step 2: [Desist]
* Knock discreetly on the door of the suite. Initially one knock, then two, repeated at short intervals

* If the above elicits no response, and does not result in subsided activity, address the passenger(s) by name while continuing the knocking

* Slide a note through the Suites' door requesting the passengers to desist (or at least keep the noise levels down). Example: "The acoustic noise cancelling headsets are effective under normal flight use; they however don't prevent against the noises emanating from your cabin. May we request you to desist from your amorous activity for the benefit of our other guests?"

* When all else fails, slide open the door of the suites, and restrain the passengers if they remain unwilling to desist. (If available, make use of the passengers' own 'cuffs for restraining purposes, or consult the on-board air marshal for his/hers).

This manual shall be refreshed on an ongoing basis as our cabin staff gains further experience in dealing with the needs of our Suites' guests.


Disclaimer: entirely tongue in cheek

[aerosmith]

Unbelievable!!!

Unbelievable!!!

I can't believe SQTalk is so conservative that the moderator(s) have to put a "*" in a seemingly proper word!

[StarG]

Yes there is a Do Not Disturb button inside the Suite.

[YK@HKG]

Ahh...looks like its a no-no for couples on a honeymoon

[LightSpeed]

Unbelievable!!!

I can't believe SQTalk is so conservative that the moderator(s) have to put a "*" in a seemingly proper word!

Actually the moderators have nothing to do with it; that was me...

[zvezda]

That's just shameful. Passengers spending that much are entitled to some privacy. As long as their sex is reasonably discreet (quiet, doors closed, Do Not Disturb sign ON), it's none of the crew's business.

[flo]

what are they going to do if people had sex on the plane? throw them off? divert the plane? have some cops on the ground to get these shameful people arrested?

i don't think it's that big a deal ...

[SQflyergirl]

Unbelievable!!!

I can't believe SQTalk is so conservative that the moderator(s) have to put a "*" in a seemingly proper word!

Actually the moderators have nothing to do with it; that was me...

Yeah, aerosmith... say sorry or i'm gonna bawl my eyes out

[aerosmith]

Yeah, aerosmith... say sorry or i'm gonna bawl my eyes out

Like this?

Sorlee lor madam....

[aerosmith]

what are they going to do if people had sex on the plane? throw them off? divert the plane? have some cops on the ground to get these shameful people arrested?

There will be additional responsibilities for air marshals to police inside the plane.

[zvezda]

what are they going to do if people had sex on the plane? throw them off? divert the plane? have some cops on the ground to get these shameful people arrested?

I think BA have done that.

[Savage25]

Actually the moderators have nothing to do with it; that was me...

When did you become conservative?

[jhm]

I think BA have done that.

If you mean this story:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/crime/arti...098735,00.html

I think it was fully justified.